The White Dog

Here I am with a little time to myself after spending a winter weekend with Bee and some of our family on a remote Island, reminiscent of a forgotten time and a more practical past. It rained incessantly so we spent a lot of time together in the living room by the fireplace. I kept the fire going round the clock to heat the living area of our relatives home. They let us stay there while they were away. We read books and had conversations, but nothing too deep and serious either. We unplugged from our screens much of the time. We cooked simple meals and ate together at their large dining room table and took turns doing chores. The tide was high during the day, but Saturday evening some of us braved the rain and went down to the beach at dusk. A long stretch of beach made up of granular pieces of shale, light enough to be continually shifted by the tides and a creek that flowed out across the beach from a wetland above. We walked across a long berm of shale and watched seabirds and otters playing in the bay.

At this point, I find it easier to be fully present in each category of my life. This weekend it was about family. You haven't had much time for writing. No, I have not. That's true Jennifer. You have been thinking about that dream you had many months after John's sudden death. Do you want to write about that? Sure, it might have been a few years later. In that dream, I was sleeping and John walked over and stood beside my bed. He was always a kind man and I missed him. But here he was standing in my bedroom and I sensed that he might have a message for me. He said "The white dog will let you out." I wondered for years what he meant. For some reason that I can't remember I thought he was talking about Putin. I'm not sure how my mind made that leap, but its often the way when you are trying to divine the future. A lot of it doesn't make sense in the bright light of day. Have you figured out what he meant? No and maybe there was no meaning, but for years now when I see a White Scottish Terrier, I feel like it is a sign of good luck for me. Now you are not so superstitious? Less so, I guess. But you still pay attention to signs, symbols and omens? I can't really turn it off, but the strength and frequency of the signal varies.